What took me so long?

I’m writing today as the “special preview edition” of FEED YOUR ANGEL will be shipped to me in three days.  I am also scheduled to go to Denver next weekend for a writer’s seminar.  This past month I’m actually beginning to SEE it, to FEEL like a writer.  I’ve been working on the cover and interior design for the preview edition and on Tuesday I’ll hold them in my hands.  NOT the full book, but sixteen chapters, fifty-four pages and a dream of mine as long as I can remember.  What a great, great feeling that will be.

As I think about that moment I can’t help but wonder… what took me so long?  If I’ve wanted to write since I was in elementary school, why haven’t I been writing all along?  What is it that took fifty three years to get here?  Probably a combination of several things:

• I HAD OTHER PRIORITIES – As I grew up, I also became interested in music.  By the time I was a teenager, I could see myself as a “rock star”, and visualizing myself as an author took a back seat.

• CONFIDENCE – Because I wasn’t writing very much my confidence level to be able to do an entire book wasn’t all that great.  It seemed like a daunting, time consuming task.

• DESIRE – I didn’t have a particular idea that resonated within me and made me WANT to pick up a notepad and start writing.  Once I came up with the FEED YOUR ANGEL idea and started writing an amazing series of events began to take place that led me to this time and place where dreams are becoming reality.

I could probably list many other reasons, but these are the three biggies that come to mind first.

Today, I woke up at 4:30am… on a Saturday.  One of the few days where I could have slept in.  But my mind was racing with all the things I wanted to get done for the book and it’s associated websites.  Isn’t this the way life was meant to be?  So excited for the day because it’s filled doing what you love?

I’m starting to SEE and FEEL like an author.  I’m excited to start looking for speaking engagements when I get back from Denver.  Instead of wondering why it took me so long to actually write a book, I know that this publication wasn’t ready to be presented until now, and I’m just the channel it chose.  The book is writing itself, I needed the time to prepare to receive it.  I needed to meet people who thought it was a good idea.  I needed to meet people who knew I could do this before I knew it myself.

When the book is ready, the author appears.

The road to Detroit

“Detroit”… “Motown”… “Motor City”… all the same town.  Many ways to get there.  Several highways head into the city.  So, if you took highway 75 to Detroit and made it into town, would you then decide that’s the only way to get there?  Would you stand on street corners, go door to door and proclaim to everyone “I have FOUND Detroit!  You must take highway 75 to get there!”… The first person to mention they took highway 53 to Detroit MUST be confused, right?  You KNOW from personal experience highway 75 gets you to Detroit!  There are signs all over highway 75 where it is WRITTEN – Detroit 5 miles… Detroit with arrows pointing the way for you… Highway 75 is the way to get to Detroit, any rational person can see that.

What if someone not only doesn’t take highway 75, but also decides they’d rather call Detroit “Motown” – or “Motor City”?... “Yep”, they’d say – “We took highway 96 to Motown yesterday”… well, that’s just wrong.  Wrong name, wrong highway – they obviously know nothing about Detroit.

Fact is, there are many ways to get to Detroit.  No one way is any better than any other.  One road might be more convenient than another depending on where you live, but – many roads lead to Detroit.  And no matter what you call it – it’s still Detroit.

Substitute “GOD” for Detroit.  So many names, so many ways to find God.  Why do people think if they’ve found God one way it’s the only way to get there?  Why does the name matter?  Allah?  Jesus?  Mohammed?... What road got you there?  Christianity?  Taoism?  Buddhism?...

No matter what you call it, it’s still God.  And there are many ways to get there.

Ram Dass, when he was younger, took LSD as a spiritual quest.  He gave some to his guru – more than any one man should have been able to handle.  It had no effect on the guru, leading Ram Dass to surmise “When you already live in Detroit, you don’t need to take a bus to get there”.

It is my goal to some day “live in Detroit”.  I’m willing to consider any and all paths that head in that direction.

My own worst critic

I’m very seldom happy or satisfied with where I’m at in life.  It seems like no matter what I do I feel I could have done better, given more, gone an extra step or two… there are times when I allow myself to feel grateful for all I have, I certainly am grateful for many, many things… but my days are often caught up pushing, striving and working to achieve MORE.  I am also EXTREMELY critical of myself as well.  Anything perceived as a failure, or not up to the standards I’ve set for myself can be emotionally devastating to me.

I have no idea where this personality trait comes from, maybe one or both parents, I’m not really sure.  I do know it has benefits and drawbacks for me, as is often the case with many things in life.  As a young musician, I wanted to play everything perfectly and effortlessly, so it drove me to practice 2+ hours/day for years until I became a good enough player to be satisfied with my abilities.  I take that same drive into anything I do – I want to not just learn something, I want to be one of the BEST at anything I do… which, of course, is not always possible… especially at first.  It’s this drive that has helped me become a fairly accomplished musician and salesperson, although the same part that drives me also looks back at what I’ve done and usually thinks “I could have done better”…

The drawbacks of this “I should be instantaneously great at everything I do” attitude include having to go through the emotions of doing things at first that aren’t so perfect – whether it was playing that first show, making that first sales call, writing the first chapter, giving the first speech… and dealing with the outpouring of negative emotions that follow.  The interior dialogue that says “That was awful, what were you thinking?  You can’t do this!”… It can kill things before you even get started.

I gave a speech in 2012 that didn’t go very well at all.  Now, I also gave many talks in 2012 that were very good.  The one that sticks with me is the “failure”.  I gave no talks after that, even thinking about it now fills me with negative emotions.  When prepared, I can do a pretty good presentation.  I think I went into that particular speech just thinking my natural ability would carry me – sometimes it will.  That day it didn’t.  I stopped really looking to give talks after that.  It also has affected my writing… I don’t have much confidence in my writing.  Because of that I am very critical of anything I post.

I’m writing a book called FEED YOUR ANGEL not because I believe I have it all figured out – but because I DON’T.  I need to remind myself every day that my thoughts will create my reality, to focus on what’s going right, to look at the bright side…

There is almost always a battle raging within me.  As I write this I’m thinking “Very few people will ever read this, nobody cares what you think, you’re not a very good writer, this is a stupid idea”… At the same time I’m thinking “This is a great idea, if you continue writing and speaking there’s no limit to the amount of people who’s lives you can positively impact, keep going, you’ll get better, you can do it”…

It’s a battle similar to this that keeps most of us from ever trying anything new – starting a business, relocating, writing a book, whatever it is… it’s always easier to stick with where you’re at and what you know than to make any changes or try something new.  Change can be scary.  Failure, even if it’s only “perceived” failure, is very hard to overcome.  The path to self confidence runs through the road of failure, though.  Only the things you are truly passionate about will give you the drive to succeed.

Writing a book has been a goal of mine since I was a little kid.  I intend to succeed.  In the process I hope that some of what I write resonates with someone else in a positive way.

The blink of an eye

Life is short and guaranteed to no one.  My father lived to be 71… at the time of this writing, that would be 18 more years for me.  Mom lived until she was 97, which would be 44 years.  Reality will probably fall somewhere in between – maybe 35 years?... 35 years will BLOW by.  How will I use that time?  What is REALLY important?  Am I happy with where my life is at today?  Are my own beliefs about what is truly possible limiting my future?  What if it all ended today, have I lived a meaningful life?...

I spend a lot of time thinking about these things, maybe we all do.  The older I get, the more I realize the power of BELIEF.  For years I’ve bought into the idea that “you become what you think about”.  Based on that, I’ve tried to see myself as a wealthy, happy, healthy individual and make that my mindset.  What I’ve found, though, is that if you tell yourself “I will be a millionaire by the time I’m 50” but internally every time you say or think that thought your subconscious mind says “no, you won’t” you will have a tough time achieving that goal.  The saying is “whatever you can conceive and BELIEVE you can achieve”.  BELIEF is really the key here.

As a society, I think we limit ourselves by our patterns of thought.  We fall into routines that may or may not serve our best interests.  The routines become ingrained and when thoughts pop up like “I should learn how to play the piano” they are quickly shot down by all the reasons that’s a stupid idea, leaving us to live day to day lives that often are duplicates of the day before… our own versions of the movie “Groundhog Day”.  On our tombstones, we could have: “Here lies Schmitty, he lived one day very well many times over”.  To truly achieve anything in life we need to stretch our thoughts and what we believe is possible for ourselves.  We need to take risks.

In the blink of an eye, our lives will be over.  What does your heart tell you?  Are you happy?  Do you spend your days doing what you love to do with the people you love to be with?  Are there yearnings inside you that you’ve long ago decided not to pursue but leave you wondering “what if”?...

“what if” I volunteered my time to help others less fortunate?...

“what if” I started my own business?...

“what if” I started to paint, to write music, to dance, to meditate, to exercise, etc, etc, etc...”

Pull the “what ifs” from your subconscious mind.  Find one that moves your heart.  Change your thoughts about what is possible.  Learn to BELIEVE you can do anything.  Take a risk.  DO IT NOW!  Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.  The present moment is all we have, and our present moments are limited.  Make every moment count.  BELIEVE.

What are you?

Every night and every morning I say these words silently to myself:

I am rich

I am prosperous

I am abundant

I am healthy

I am happy

I am love

Every night these are the words I fall asleep to, these are the thoughts I give my subconscious mind to work on while I sleep.

Every morning, these are the words I use to start my day with the right attitude.

I’m writing a book called “Feed Your Angel” because for years I never saw myself this way.  I saw myself as poor, unhappy, unhealthy, angry and insecure.  I need to put supportive thoughts into my mind on a daily basis or the negative mind stream finds its way back to my subconscious.

There are many books that speak to the power of using the words “I AM”.  Be very careful what you program yourself to believe you are.  Using the phrase “I AM” followed by all the things you wish to see in your life every morning and evening gives you 730 opportunities per year to program your subconscious properly.  Your subconscious mind will begin to act on those beliefs.

When you use the term “I AM”, believe that whatever you say after it is true for you.  See that feeling or emotion as being who you are.  When you say “I am love”, see and feel what that means for your life.

Personally, I use “I am love” because I can have trouble controlling my anger at times.  When there’s a lot of stress and I feel pushed or things aren’t going exactly how I want them to I can get frustrated and angry.  You can tell what’s inside a person when they’re squeezed and too often anger is what I see in myself.  I want to replace that with love.  So, 730 times a year (at least) I tell myself “I am love”, “I am love”, “I am love”… and I see myself mentally responding differently to these situations.  You can’t put that much positive energy into your mind without seeing a positive impact on your life.

The List

I make lists, I have them everywhere.  There’s lists of things I need to do at home, lists for work, lists of players to look up for fantasy football, books I want to read, movies I want to see… they’re all over.  So it came as no surprise to me today when I opened a notebook and a list I made a long time ago fell out.  No date, nothing.  Just a list of ten things.  This is the list:

1. Be passionate
2. Smile often
3. Love everything
4. Exercise frequently
5. Have fun
6. Be honest
7. Seek God
8. Set goals
9. Read daily
10. Meditate often

I’m going to keep that list where I can see it every day from now on.  Advice to myself from myself that maybe came just at the right time on the right day for me now.  And hopefully it reaches you and your life in a similar fashion :)

Mixed Emotions

Ever feel like the rodeo of life has lassoed you several times and you’re stuck in the middle being pulled seventeen directions at the same time?  As you try heading in one direction, sixteen things are pulling you away from your goal?  It can be very emotionally draining.  Or, perhaps there’s no goal set at all and you’re just letting the people holding the ropes pull you wherever they want.  Well, it’s time you started pulling your own strings.

First, become clear on your goals.  I have no idea what the percentages are, but I believe the vast majority of people have no clear, concise version in their minds of what they want the future to look like… much LESS a plan of action for getting there.  With no plan, your life will be pulled wherever the external influences of your life wish to take you – you’re a ship without a rudder and your chances of landing in a port of your choice are greatly reduced.

Spend some time thinking about what your IDEAL life would look like.  Break it up into categories – work, physical, material, etc., and list everything you could ever want for yourself without limits.  Let the list sit for a while, add to it, subtract from it, and when you’re comfortable some things listed you’d really like to focus on create a list in order of importance.  Then systematically attack that list.

Now you have a list of goals and your #1 objective in place – how hard was that?  Not hard at all, just took a little time and effort placed on thinking about where we’d like to go.  We are preparing you mentally to see yourself succeeding.

Take goal #1 and start thinking about the steps it will take to get you there.  Think about the obstacles you will encounter as well, which are usually the things that have stopped you from acting on a goal in the past.  “I don’t have the money”, “I don’t have the knowledge”, “I don’t have the time”… if you let these thoughts defeat you then goal #1 wasn’t really anything you truly had any passion for.  What you’re looking for are goals that stir emotion in your heart, when you look at goal #1 your thoughts should be more along the lines of “I’m absolutely going to do this no matter what appears to stand in my way”.  Then make a list of all the things that have kept you from starting on this path to attain goal #1 in the past.

Once you have your list, sort the obstacles and steps to attainment of your goal into a clear list that you can logically start working on.  Once your list is done, look it over and begin to formulate a plan for achievement by starting with the first step on your list, develop a plan for success.  How do you eat an elephant?... one bite at a time.  The goal might seem insurmountable on its own, but taken step by step you start to see and believe it can be attained.

Back to the lasso analogy we started with – instead of struggling to get seventeen places at once, you need to pick the one thing that is most important to you and pull it in by focusing your attention on attainment of that particular goal and breaking it into smaller, achievable steps.  Once goal #1 has been achieved, we focus on #2, #3, etc., until you’ve pulled all your goals into your life and are free to live however you want to.

Funny thing about goals, though – once you attain a goal new ones will show up.  You never really become free from the emotional tug of war, but you can start to take more control by using the methods described above.  Success is a journey, not a destination.